You Must Be Pregnant!
Well, first of all, this is not an April Fool’s joke. Read on! 🙂
If you’re my age or in my situation when you’re married for a good number of years, people are expecting you to have a kid already. It’s just getting asked when you’re going to have a boyfriend or when you’re getting married. As in they’re expecting you to be expecting! At first you start thinking, “Oh, this is just small talk. They don’t probably have any other conversational starter so they resorted to this.” Then, it becomes more serious. To start with, your parents start giving you reasons why you should get pregnant: emotional, existential, biological, psyhocological, and religious reasons. It gets you thinking: “Guys, for the longest time, you’ve went to great lengths to ensure I don’t get pregnant and as soon as I get married I get all this pressure? Wh–?”
Then, relatives start asking you the same thing. It gets worse during other people’s weddings and reunions when people stare and touch your belly while asking you. Of course you can’t just slap their hands to discourage them from doing that in the future! Fine, fine. The relatives must be excited. Then it gets absurd when a stranger at a salon starts asking you about your age, the status of your marriage and about your life plan. Then you start getting a free sermon while getting your hair done.
So I thought that was just a one-off incident. But, a couple of months ago, Ponggo & I went to our favorite Japanese restaurant and one of the waitresses asked, “Ma’am, wala pa din kayong anak?” (Ma’am, don’t you have a child yet?) I’m like, “What!?!?!?! I always have to get it from strangers, don’t I?” Anyway, I just politely responded, “Oh, taba lang yan lahat…TABA“. (What you see is nothing but FAT….ALL FAT.)
Last week, I posted something about getting tired and dealing with deadlines and someone on Facebook commented, “There must be a bun in the oven”. I mean, seriously guys, if I start feeling dizzy, sleepy or about to puke, instead of saying
“You must be pregnant!”
like any other fully functioning human being, it could just be any of the following reasons:
2) Food poisoning
3) other digestive problems: overeating, indigestion, LBM
4) Too much sunlight (because I’m photo sensitive). Isn’t this so ironic for someone who loves the daylight?)
5) Lack of sleep
I should probably charge people for asking if I’m pregnant. That way, I will get rich & I will have enough funds for my imaginary kids in the future!
Okay. Enough of the ranting. Speaking of getting pregnant, the one below is another project of mine by the way:
Yes, it’s a life project.
No, I’m not pregnant.
Yes, it’s SOMEONE ELSE’s life project.
No, this is not an April fool’s joke. 🙂
Gahh…It’s so hard to defend which one is NOT a joke today just like last year when everyone thought we’ve gone bonkers and totally abandoning our love for colors!
Anyhooz, I can’t wait to share with you the details of this project soon! 🙂